She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Ladies don't puke and tell
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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