where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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