The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
