this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
