I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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