lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
