One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
