I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
