what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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