Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize