i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
