Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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