he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
