Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
