Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
