somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
