and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
