he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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