but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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