its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
a search helicopter?!
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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