yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
