Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
When did angry sex become our thing?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
