If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
