he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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