I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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