Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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