dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize