what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
