Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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