ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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