I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
