you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
