On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
