he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
