We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
