i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
