At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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