she looked like the bat from fern gully.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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