Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
