I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
