You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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