i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
