And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
