he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
