I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
