My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
