then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
