SEEEEXXX PLEASE
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
