So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
