he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize