so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
