Capitaan dildo arrescate!
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
