i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
