so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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