A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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