We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
