what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
