He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
